myers-briggs test #1 results:

ISTP - "Engineer". Values freedom of action and following interests and impulses. Independent, concise in speech, master of tools. 5.4% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

test #2 results: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes3.asp

conclusion: mix of ISTP and INTP.

ISTP: http://similarminds.com/jung/istp.html
INTP: http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP_car.html

hm, quite true, especially the careers part and some of the analysis of character.

ok sleep time.

as of today, my favourite question is:
"hi good morning/afternoon, nanyang polytechnic. how may i help you?"

and my next favourite question is:
"would you like to take down the number before i transfer your call?"

and my favourite statement is:
"okay, please hold while i transfer your call over to the [insert dept/school in question]."

and my favourite equipment is now the telephone.
and my favourite location is now the front desk.

and though this is old news, i'm many, many more steps closer to my childhood ambition of being a postman(girl).
and oh yea, another 2 more favourite equipments of mine are the dcs (document carrier system) and the franking machine.

and with my new favourite location, i've given up on my old one at the central mail room, though i still frequent it as much as how people go to the toylert.

and my best friends are envelopes and more envelopes and more envelopes. on some days i feel like i'm swimming in nothing more than envelopes. wow cool. suddenly this reminds me of some part in the first harry potter story. go figure.

and now without a strong goal/purpose in sight and a bleak future ahead, i've dissolved into nothing but an angsteh grouchy git. and that is further exacerbated by the lack of life due to werk and exhaustion such that weekends are spent on catching up on my xleep.

oh well not really, but here's lesson 101 by yours truly, ten simple steps to spending a fruitful weekend on a seemingly dull and dreadful sunday:

1) get your lazy ass out of your house. if you've somehow, like me, gotten yourself out but into a horribly boring shopping mall, then get yourself out of that place.
2) ensure you've got your precious ezlink card with you, with sufficient money considering the goddamned lack of concession. (10 bucks should be fine, but 7 bucks was certainly sufficient for me that sunday)
3) now this is important, force yourself to forget you've got no concession. brainwash yourself into thinking that you're now travelling FOC.
4) get into a bus stop/train station, though i must say for the former, a bus interchange would have been better, opens up your options.
5) hop onto the first bus you set eyes on. (make sure it's not crowded plx, or it'll be a killjoy)
6) sit and enjoy the first uh, say, 15mins of your ride.
7) after you've given your butt a nice rest, get off.
8) ah, oh yes, remember to tap card (this is totally against the delusion that you're travelling FOC but uh, just tap anyway, or don't if you're rich enough to donate to my needy foundation)
9) walk around and take in the sights and sounds of the place you've alighted at.
10) if things start getting boring, get onto the nearest public transport and get on with your tour of singapore island.
11) optional step: after you're done with your tour for the day, get home by the cheapest possible route plx, you don't want to go around wasting your parents' money anymore.
12) optional step: phreak out when you realise you're lost/have no inkling where you're heading towards.

note:
1) never hop onto a taxi. unless, again you're rich enough to donate to me.
2) you need to have an ADVENTUROUS spirit and not be afraid of getting lost.
3) bring along a map if you really don't have a keen sense of direction.
4) bring along a mobile phone if your keen sense phails you or you can't read maps.
5) applicable only to those aged 19 and above as of 2008.
6) do not attempt this tour after dusk, for obvious reasons.
disclaimer: i hold no responsibility or whatsoever if you get lost or anything happens to you during your trip. but since nothing happened to me, then nothing should happen to you too.

here's an outline of my trip last sunday:
1500hrs home - ntuc hougang mall - [adventure starts: 1630hrs] hougang bus interchange - bus 165 - ang mo kio mrt station (NSL) - dhoby ghaut mrt station (NSL, NEL) - chinatown mrt station (NEL) - walked through the crowded eu tong sen street - people's park - back to chinatown mrt station (NEL) - outram mrt station (NEL, EWL) - panic, i had no idea which direction that train was going and it was too crowded so i couldn't see the digital screen - frantically alight at next stop - tiong bahru mrt station (EWL) - tiong bahru plaza - wandered around nearby - jalan bukit merah - ended up at a familiar coffee shop - bus 147 - home [adventure ends: 1920hrs]

that has got to be one of the more happening weekends of mine since this horrible year started. i actually went a longer way initially. hougang mall has a NEL train station to go direct to chinatown but i didn't know i'd end up somehow at chinatown. hindsight is always perfect.

cheap thrill, but not really cheap in essence when i see my zilched-out ezlink.

the raison d'etre of an eraser:
to mitigate the regrets due to inadvertences or to put something out of mind because one can then be placated with the idea that those solecisms or, uh, memento mori can no longer be seen.

out of sight, out of mind

not always true, but true enough for those that don't create that much waves undulating within the grey matter.

absence makes the heart fonder

former or latter? i've no idea, really.

too much time on hands, too much empty spaces for mind to wander around, too much flowing through those mucky grey matter (despite the small amount that i possess, unfortunately), too few people to speak to, all resulting in too much crap coming out now.

AH another stupid entry.

p.s. i'm really thankful for the existence of the 'draft' function blogger has. it serves as a perfect kind of eraser.

[edit]
turn up speakers please, thankew.
[/edit]

... my god, i think i'm right. screw it, i am damn sure i was and i am goddamned right.

my hypothesis before 21/11/07: post a's isn't going to be an enjoyable stress-free ride.
my final conclusion as of 2/1/08: post a's has been a living hell. draught of living death

looks like i was well-prepared to anticipate such negativity (that's not to say my holidays had been disastrous either, i'm just saying that the really horrible parts were yes, terribly terrible). yet i wasn't prepared to anticipate negativity of such vile extent. maybe i'm just suffering from pre-interview stress in less than 12 hours. and after that time, i will or will not be landing on my first ever (decent) job, earning my own (decent) money.

... no, indecent money doesn't have to come from where-you-think-it-comes-from-and-i-see-no-need-to-elaborate.

hm. on my way to school today i looked away and tapped the ezlink on the bleeding card-reader. one beep. thanks for travelling with sbs transit. wth. now i'm poorer by an exponential proportion each time i travel out of my humble abode. eh yes, crashing orientation with zeyan today has been much fun. whee. (hawhaw "HAW foundation library") tsk. poor misled, misguided j1s, it's SHAW foundation library. rj has got so much funds from last year to do so much makeover for the school yet they couldn't get a simple 's' sticker back on the signboard next to the blk h lift on level 1mezzonine. sigh. yet i should have done something myself

at the canteen there was this notice board that says "welcome back j2s!" and there were post-its around for j2s to write random crud on them and stick it up. hoho i saw this post-it which said "08S0XX (i forgot)" so zeyan and i had this warped idea to be extra.

here's what we wrote on separate post-its and stuck them up:
me: "07S06A ownzzxz. FCSONIC."
zeyan: "07S06D. GWEEGWEE."
lol. we got some funny stares but who cares, i like.

for the uninformed ex-rafflesian, your alma mater has had (and is still ongoing) a helluva makeover this holiday. with what mini canteen being converted to student lounge (i heard it's been pushed by the students' council for 5 years, finally eh, but it's only ready in june) rumoured to be air-conditioned along with a pool table within (WTH! eh, this shocking news courtesy of shengwei), the replacement of school tvs with samsung lcd screens, with close to 10 of such in the canteen itself, new mini canteen with pretty shelter and a cosier environment, the library with an internal revamp of entry system with ezlink-mrt-like gantry at the entrance (ZOMGWTH) and self-check machines within and boarded up railings on 2nd and 3rd floor so chekopek guys can't look up girls' skirts from the 1st floor tsk, new cleaning agency, photocopying shop moved to better location i know not where, bookshop moving soon too, pretty purple sound-absorbant (sp?) walls at the back of mph, a dug-up second field, and of course, nice decos with the ongoing orientation, T'SPARANZA!

nice name, i must say. and an extremely rich school too. and an extremely incoherent paragraph up there 'cos i just couldn't be bothered with phrasing. i had a verbal dye-reah there, yeah. but it was really a o.O experience today despite stepping back into school on the last day of 2007. lots have changed in that 2 days. construction workers have got higher productivity than i do.

and i got my lovely biometric passport today. seventee bucks, that's not friendly to my pocket, or rather, my father's. especially so with the mrt journey down to lavender where the ica is located.

ah wow. some people popping off to ns again real soon. looks like i'm going to get broke soon too rawr

ikanaide (please don't leave me)
nani mo mienai nani mo
zutto naiteta
dakedo kanashiin jya nai
atatakai anata ni
fureta no ga ureshikute
ikanaide ikanaide

itsumademo zutto hanasanaide
ikanaide ikanaide
kono mama de
itsu ka kokoro wa itsu ka
tooido koka de
minna omoide ni naruto
shiranakute ii no ni
shiranakute ii no ni
ikanaide ikanaide
donna toki demo hanasanaide
ikanaide ikanaide
kono mama de
ikanaide ikanaide
itsu mademo zutto hanasanaide
ikanaide ikanaide
kono mama de

a few minutes before 12am, i opened this 'write new post' page so that i can still squeeze an entry in before the end of 2007.

i've never experienced so many ups in a year. neither have i experienced so many downs in a year. 2007, you've been good enough for me.

but these ups and downs are what made the year all the more memorable. these two years in rj have been the best school years i've ever had. this statement is a severe understatement. to begin with, this post is an absolute understatement of the year (literally, 2007).

yet i'm really glad to have spent the last day of 2007 with the bunch of people who made my j2 life so exciting in the place where i had the happiest memories. even the saddest memories were in some way related to the happiest. that made things a lot more bearable.

happy new year to all and may you have a great 2008 ahead. akemashiteomedetougozaimasu!

走出去就有路
寻见了 就有福
拥有了一切 都进了包袱
思念是带不走的

天空 疑云密布
心中 翻腾起伏
虽将飘摇 前途仍模糊
此地会是我 衣锦还乡处

飘洋过海 我吃得起苦
相信天无绝人之路
现实有咒诅 梦里有祝福
有缘同舟 风雨共渡

顶着烈日当空 眼底有迷雾
不能再让懦弱困住
日子多坎坷 命运有变数
只盼久旱逢甘露

you know something's not quite right when any of the following happens:
1) when one blogs an entry, then decides not to publish it, and blogs another then does the same to that entry, until perhaps, the third or fourth time before one finally publishes it.
2) when one is wasting away doing nothing productive, like an atrophying disease.
3) when one's cheerfulness becomes inversely proportionate to the amount of ongoing festivities.
4) when one eats a mountain over a certain period of time, then suddenly has no appetite for anything.

and you know something is very wrong when the following happens:
5) when one sees their own blood, in places where they're not supposed to see them.

on the eve of christmas, i'm getting increasingly worried about what's going to happen to me. yet i darenot seek the person who can tell me the truth. maybe i'm just fearful of knowing if i'm atrophying physically as well.

they say after a's one can degen. but if degen-ing means going down the path i'm heading towards, i'd rather prevent The Degeneration.

this post is incoherent hurhur. i'm getting incoherent myself. even my dreams, or rather, nightmares have been incoherent. to put it more accurately, weird. hm. beats me why i asked my mum "where's the slime?" and started whacking my bedside table in my sleep the other night when she came in.

...no, i haven't been reading alien-slime-related-ufo-books nor watching such movies unless you count terminator 3. nah. and i'm lazy to elaborate about my terribly incoherent dream about being sent to vietnam to study with vanessa koh. and ended up fighting a mafia gang with unmentionable weapons. no, just... no.

uh, oh? it's 12:10AM. it's late. it's christmas. it's time to sleep.
good night and a merry christmas to all and good luck to those going back to tekong

it's been long since the last update. too many happenings, too little time, too much laziness. more frantic last minute mugging for sat one, prom and my virgin jaunt to the land of china which many may exclaim "after 18 years!?". well, uh, yes, sadly.

so i go one by one.

uh, what's there to talk about mugging and sats?

NEXT.

prom. i hate using the term 'prom' to describe this whole frivolous extravaganza. it wasn't an entirely enjoyable experience, if you ask me, apart from the fact that the food was (insert relevant negative adjective here). i am referring to, hm, certain people and what i saw. being a killjoy is no fun either so i play along wohoho. buay song also don't show you buay song right. thought i must say i have failed to hide buay song-ness far too often lol.

say so many bad things about prom still must say something good right. uh, of course got nice people apart from the 'certain people' and camwhoring is not something i enjoy but i did it that night anyway.

NEXT.

virgin jaunt to china. shanghai, suzhou, wuzhen, hangzhou, nanjing, wuxi, then back to shanghai again. eye-opening. but i don't want a second experience. but i need to visit beijing next time. and countries around china like taiwan and hong kong. oh and the trip was made slightly more interesting by the fact that it so happened there was another rj guy (i shan't disclose name) who happened to be in the same tour group as me. funny how small the world can get.

what's funnier is how my instinct seemed to have told me before the trip that something like that may happen. oh well.


it's not everyday you look down and see clouds

oh haha finally got flights on sia. singapore girls (i mean the stewardess) are pretty. and i'm not saying anymore before anyone starts questioning my orientation, which is straight, to begin with.

alright i lazy to berlorg about the trip in detail and it's time for lunch and maybe i may put up pretty sceneries next time. oh yes, and while i log out and take a short walk to my room to check on my phone, i shall guess if bel has replied my sms. hoho lol

and so the previous entry has gone into drafts.

haha i was just looking through my account, more than half of all entries made are in drafts lol i might as well just lock up this blog for good.

just for entertainment sake (plx right click 'open in new window', i don't want my stats to jump like siao):
1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTCx47DYgIY
it's really sad. so don't watch if you're already feeling bleh. a mistake to watch it while mugging for a's hurhur. but it certainly teaches one to appreciate family members more while you still have them.
2) http://youtube.com/watch?v=2x2J0xxQ1Hw
bollywood ftw! 4/12's lifeskills camp dance song haha, 'chori chori gori se' from the guru.
3) http://youtube.com/watch?v=A6LY_Emc1ck
bollywood ftw again! 4/11's dance song. 'say shava shava' from kabhi khushi kabhie gham. shahrukh khan!
4) http://youtube.com/watch?v=gcEqM8z1wgA
if you go wow imma slap you because i said 'wow' too.
5) http://youtube.com/watch?v=j9U3pZFPNcc&feature=related
caution: don't watch while eating, you might die from choking.
6) http://youtube.com/watch?v=I7GaM3bbtOw&feature=related
"i've never seen a statue of liberty disappear like this one has!" lol!
7) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MugQDD2FcKQ&feature=related
"silence! or i'll KILL YOU!" lawl thanks vanessa. this vantrilloquist is da pro.
8) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKSxHYK_wfs
maybe this might make evoke some pity for paris hilton.
9) http://youtube.com/watch?v=FZZVPjvBIr0&feature=related
HAHAHA I.
10) http://youtube.com/watch?v=0xYG-5t17LY&feature=related
HAHAHA II.
11) http://youtube.com/watch?v=pVBtHNcMqnE&feature=related
totally classic. imma go buy that knob from ernie. nah, i'll rob him.
12) http://youtube.com/watch?v=HTO1uPPnPtA&feature=related
AWWW.
13) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jxJcNMSPws
thanks bel. haha xD

btw if david copperfield didn't satisfy you enough, go search for criss angel vids.

ok i stop spamming youtube. more from my favorites some other time. now i go school to MUG hoho. wish me luck fer SAT 1 while you lucky asses are off having fun now. i can't find grad night dress i might just go there in bathrobe and bedroom slippers or uh, funk up my rj sch u. whoo

today is ldos. go figure.

perhaps when you're j1, ldos doesn't really matter. just like another ldos where you grow older with each passing.
like charlene's nick says quite a bit: omg i'm a j2.

but when you're j2, it matters 'cos it's the official end of one's school life. this is the first time ldos really struck me for it's the ldos in a school i really call my second home.

actually i didn't feel anything today. admittedly i was too caught up with mugging to notice it was ldos today. i realised it a few days back but forgot about it soon after. lossy's post made me realise today is the last of the series of many ldos we had.

(if by now you still haven't figured what's ldos, it's Last Day Of School)

but i'm trying not to get nostalgic or emo now 'cos it isn't really the opportune of times, considering my mugging situation. speaking of mugging, today's also the last day of the mugging break. as much as i hate mugging, i realised i'll miss it when it's over. i can't believe it, but i'll miss it, and the library.

where silence prevails
and the mugging sessions in the library have had its fair share of amusing incidents here and there to break the mundane drone of silence.

when ultimate trains downstairs, lossy comes to take his VIP viewing gallery seat. tsk
and this was taken today, after most people left. i found some strange allure.

:)
i can feel the nostalgia and emoz-ness creeping up onto me. my resistance shalt not crumble. trying not to say the words i really want to say.

those shall be saved for next time. when i can let the sorrow and joy wash over me as much as i wish.

for now, it's back to mugging.
to all out there, all the best and good luck for As.
i'm not 50% done, but i am sure there're others out there who are 150% done, yea? :)

adieux amigo

lonely fear lights up the sky
can't help but wonder why
you're so far away
there, you had to take a stand
in someone else's land
life can be so strange
i wish we never had to choose
to either win or lose
that we could find a way

stand tall, stand proud!
voices that care are crying out loud
and when you close your eyes tonight
feel in your heart how our love burns bright

a sudden impulse drove me to stick my hands into a dusty cavity in my room otherwise known as my sec-4-junk-treasure-cupboard. ok i just coined that name but whatever.

back then when i still had that laughable idealistic streak and faith in myself
lol i can't believe i actually wrote those. i needed to write in a way that would boost my ego and uh, feel smarter, albeit delusional. looking back now, i wonder where have all that motivation i used to have gone to? clearly i was really desperate to get into hci back then eh. i had my education plan all out- hci then oxford. idealistic, as many would probably say, but that was me anyway. it's a great thing that i ended up in rj haha. it's amazing how fate, luck and a complete turn of events can change things in such a short span of time, and i'm certainly not complaining at all.

anyway those were the stuffs i doodled on the back of my sec4 homework diary. in a desperate attempt to get myself to study for o levels.

well, it worked. but that wasn't my most desperate measure. since desperate times call for desperate measures, i took a permanent marker and wrote some related stuffs on my bathroom mirror and it includes: Goal - Straight As. uh it's still there and it still applies eh, so it wasn't a mistake to use a permanent marker afterall.

though i must say my mother flipped when she saw my artwork on the mirror.
"OMG how am i ever going to look into your mirror again without seeing spots on my face!"

that's just what i imagined her to be thinking though she didn't say that harhar not funny. so i have spotty face every morning when i look into the mirror ouch.

but sadly i never paid much attention to it after o levels ended, until maybe a few days back then i noticed it again. but it's kind of late. in sec 4 i did all those at the start of the new school year. beats me how i'm going to raise my morale up to that level again.

only mugging seems to be able to placate me now. and that has got to be the most freaking ironic statement of the year.

i need to seek constant solace in studying, since i'm not doing so now i'm so disturbed so ciao.

想走出你控制的领域
却走近你安排的战局
我没有坚强的防备
也没有后路可以退
想逃离你布下的陷阱
却陷入了另一个困境
我没有决定输赢的勇气
也没有逃脱的幸运
我像是一颗棋
进退任由你决定
我不是你眼中唯一将领
却是不起眼的小兵
我像是一颗棋子
来去全不由自己
举手无回你从不曾犹豫
我却受控在你手里

these days, i am reminded, for some strange reason, how as a child i used to sit by the piano and sing while playing on the piano.

it was more than a decade ago since i last did that. and the last song i sang while playing the piano was clementine.

come to think of it, what a tragic song to sing as a child.

ruby lips above the water,
blowing bubbles soft and fine,
but alas, i was no swimmer,
so i lost my Clementine.
in my dreams she still doth haunt me,
robed in garments soaked in brine;
though in life i used to hug her,
now she's dead, i draw the line.

when people are bored, they watch youtube videos.
when i'm fizzled out from mugging, i try my hand at new, hoho, things. so behold my virgin youtube upload! RAWR.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DegL_WErWN0

ok i did it cos mr chong wanted to see himself in AAACTION.
but do watch it, it's enlightening. and it helps one to understand more about uh, momentum.
cut the crap, it's the video of mr chong singing for us just before farewell assembly. =)

after watching this video, plx go back and do your work. i know about the enticing power of youtube. dammit.

kthxbye.

生日快乐
我对自己说
蜡烛点了
寂寞亮了
生日快乐
泪也融了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你的一点恨
还要时间
才能平衡
热恋伤痕
画面重生
祝我生日快乐

Fri Oct 12, 9:27 AM ET
BRUSSELS (AFP) - A baby girl was born over the Sahara desert during the night aboard a Brussels Airlines flight from the Democratic Republic of Congo to Belgium, the company said in a statement Friday.

Baby Daniella -- named after the co-pilot for the Kinshasa-Brussels flight -- "is doing fine thanks to the help of two doctors who happened to be aboard as well as the crew," the statement said.

A 31-year-old Congolese woman, who was not identified, gave birth to the child at around 0200 GMT as the Airbus A330-300 was flying over the Sahara.

"Given the absence of any nearby airport, the birth took place aboard," the company said.

Mother and child were taken to hospital on arrival in Brussels.

"Flight SN352, therefore, had 233 passengers aboard on departure and 234 on arrival," the statement ended.

a new life, a bundle of joy.
but i must say, the idea of in-flight birth is uh, freaky, just to put it mildly.
and the spokesperson certainly has a nice sense of humour lawl.
one question one SHOULD ask is: what's the kid's nationality harhar saharian? african?

why do i even bother.

time to go back to pheesiques.
bless me, i've a whole wad of lecture notes to re-read.
if only they were a whole wad of dollar notes instead.

scratch the acrimony,
it should never be
immanent in me.

i've revived my penchant for funeral music.

Adagio, Albinoni Tomaso:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=XMbvcp480Y4
some would have probably heard this before in some movies, like Gallipoli.

incredibly melancholic. and it's not doing any good to the current situation of my mood.
yet i find some strange allure.

:(




stay strong. we've another month plus to trudge on.

writing of portfolio does indeed bring back lots of memories. thankfully, mostly happy ones.


looking at the 6A class photo and trying to guess who mr chong is drawing on his blog is terribly entertaining.

but with these photos, there are always some highly apposite thoughts that keep running through my mind as i write my reflections for the portfolio: is it all over? what does my future hold for me without these i've grown so accustomed to?

at the very least, what i can only do now amidst all these feverish mugging, is to remember:
"don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."
yet more often than not, there's this part of me that takes longer than the rest of me to accept it when things change (ohgod i'm speaking like i consist of a few entities).

change is the only thing constant in this world. how oxymoronic.

Time goes by, time brings changes, you change, too
Nothing comes that you can't handle, so on you go
Never see it coming, the world caves in on you
On your town
Nothing you can do.